Sitting at her table, she serves
the sopa de arroz to me
instinctively, and I watch her,
the absolute mamá, and eat words
I might have had to say more
out of embarrassment. To speak,
now-foreign words I used to speak,
too, dribble down her mouth as she serves
me albondigas. No more
than a third are easy to me.
By the stove she does something with words
and looks at me only with her
back. I am full. I tell her
I taste the mint, and watch her speak
smiles at the stove. All my words
make her smile. Nani never serves
herself, she only watches me
with her skin, her hair. I ask for more.
I watch the mamá warming more
tortillas for me. I watch her
fingers in the flame for me.
Near her mouth, I see a wrinkle speak
of a man whose body serves
the ants like she serves me, then more words
from more wrinkles about children, words
about this and that, flowing more
easily from these other mouths. Each serves
as a tremendous string around her,
holding her together. They speak
nani was this and that to me
and I wonder just how much of me
will die with her, what were the words
I could have been, or was. Her insides speak
through a hundred wrinkles, now, more
than she can bear, steel around her,
shouting, then, What is this thing she serves?
She asks me if I want more.
I own no words to stop her.
Even before I speak, she serves.
Alberto Ríos (b. 1952) b. Nogales, AZ. Received BA and MFA from the University of Arizona. Began teaching at Arizona State University in 1982. His books include the poetry collections Whispering to Fool the Wind (1982), The Smallest Muscle in the Human Body (2002), and Not Go Away Is My Name (2020). Capirotada: A Nogales Memoir (1999) was given a Latino Literary Hall of Fame Award. Named Arizona’s Poet Laureate in 2013, the state’s first. Among his many honors are the Western Literature Association Distinguished Achievement award and election as chancellor of the Academy of American Poets. Currently Regents’ Professor at Arizona State.